Happy "Mission Accomplished" Day!

It's May 1, otherwise known as the day the Iraq war ended, with President Bush's stirring message to this grateful homeland: "Mission Accomplished!" Break out the champagne, uncork a bottle of sparkling cider, dump a tub of water and ice on the coach, kiss someone's sweetheart in Times Square, the long war -- a month or so to that point -- is over.

"War is over, if you want it, war is over now...." President Bush wasted no time achieving a massive victory, from Shock and Awe to landing on the deck of the U.S.S. Something-or-Other, his bulging crotch piece symbolizing perfectly the virility of a nation that would not, could not be stopped.

The war was swift, the message to tyrants everywhere certain: Don't mess with the man, and we are the man!

Now we have peace in our times!