John McCain -- Man of Endless Wars

John McCain says he wouldn't mind it if we stayed in Iraq and kept the Iraq war going for another 100 years! In fact, he added to that that if it were 1,000 or 10,000 years, or even a million years (1), it'd all be the same to him. Now there's a man who has a long-term plan!

You can't say John McCain doesn't have vision. I mean, you're president for eight years tops, and he's already looking a million years ahead. I've heard of big ambitions, but don't Americans like things to actually end? Think of the dread and loathing we used to have when they put, "To Be Continued" at the end of a TV episode. We didn't want to wait one stinking week for the thing to end. But we have a guy (serious candidate, one would think) who doesn't think in terms of beginning and ending. He just thinks in terms of beginning and persisting, beginning and continuing, going and staying.

It'd be funny to sketch out what if all our presidents were as ambitious as John McCain, ambitious at keeping wars going. We'd still have around 30 years to go with World War II. We'd be close to the end of World War I. If it started in 1914, we'd have only about 6 years to go till it ended. Let's see, the Revolutionary War would be long since completed. But the Civil War, just around 1965 we finally got that settled. What about Vietnam? John McCain was a POW in Vietnam. So if we were still there, he'd still be there. He won't get out of that Vietnam jail for another 70 or 75 years. Settle in, John!

This long-term view of what a good war should be is insane, of course. But kind of funny. We have a serious (?) candidate for the White House whose main platform is endless war? Is there anyone in his or her right mind who will vote for that?

This is literally worse than the highway department. They get the interstate ripped up and it's a lifetime job to get it fixed. You go to work the day after high school and by the time you get done with a good stretch of road, you're ready for Social Security.

Let's put John McCain in charge of something that is endless and harmless. Like give him a mountain of beans, give him about 40 acres to work in, and have him count beans. That'll save us a lot of trouble!